The Photographer’s Child
Note: I wrote this on my old blog in 2006 and thought it was worth sharing again.
Balance is the key, I suppose. I hope.
Sometimes I worry in photographing my son … Do I push too much, go too far ..when he’d much rather I be “Mommy” rather than “Mommy with the camera”?
Why can I not wear both roles so well? Because children demand something out of you that longs to be undivided. At times, thankfully not every time, there is a division there; a vast valley of loyalty as I hold my camera and gaze at him through my viewfinder. Sometimes he longs to be seen not through my lens, but simply by my eyes.
I ask myself … What does a photographer’s child think as they leaf through the heaps of images collected of them through the years? “Look at all these images, my mom must have loved me.” or “Look at all these images, my mom must have loved photography.”
I never want the importance of him … HIS moments, HIS childhood to be paled in the shadow of MY learning, and MY validation. The rememberance of him lost in the confusion of shutter speeds and f-stops. Never. Doing so would taint my love for photography …so, balance is the key. I do not feel alone …there are millions of other mothers who so desperately seek to find balance between their children and their careers. It is not easy, but completely and utterly worth it.
I want my son to know he was loved, deeply and truly. I want him to know, I always saw him … whether blanketed in grain, in the cool of contrast or with the richness of color …I always saw Him.
Amanda Overmyer on 06.10.09
Well said – and so true to many of us out there! With all my hopes and dreams, my daughters happiness and safety takes the cake! Learning to balance the two is the trick, but your post reminds me to take advantage of all of those moments, “posed” or “unposed.”
angela on 06.11.09
So true Skye! Thanks so much for posting this, it really touched me and how I feel bad for my son as I photograph and learn. I always feel like I’m making him do something he doesn’t want to. I do hope in the end, though, they do know that we did see them and that we did love them and we are happy that we have these images to cherish forever.
Samantha Pearce on 06.11.09
That is very profound. I have to honestly say that I was looking at some photos of my now 4yr old as a baby, and thinking wow? where did the last 4yrs go. The last 4yrs I’ve spent building my skills and photography portfolio, it all seems such a blur. Thanks for this post, it is so very true. I think I have been guilty of photographing the photograph and not simply them at times for sure. Funny thing, I have clear memories of my dad telling me to stand in this spot, ‘don’t move!!’ while he ran back and forward with his lightmeter! So he was guilty of it too! lol
Navy Sou on 06.11.09
That is so beautiful! I too, worry about that but I came from a poor family and a broken home where a camera was the last thing that was anything important. Now an adult, I only have no more than a few photos of myself as a child and I never want that to happen to my daughter. So it’s not, “Awww…poor photographer’s child!” It’s actually, “Awwww…lucky photographer’s child!”…and in your case, it’s definitely “AWWW…LUCKY PHOTOGRAPHER’S CHILD!!!!”
elizabeth on 06.12.09
great post.. ( I believe I read it back in 06 as well ) but still holds very true.. he is such an adorable kid you can see his spirit in his eyes..
Annie Schilperoort Photography on 06.12.09
Hi Skye, I read this before, but just now got the chance to come back and comment. I go through the same thing with my two boys (3 & 5). They are good sports, but I have to be discrete sometimes.
The above post is gorgeous by the way – what a stunning girl and beautiful job you did.
I have your business forms (purchased last year) and just got your workbook. They have been tremendously helpful and gave me the “support” I was really needing. May God bless you & safe travels! ~Annie
Candace Sheets on 06.17.09
Thank you for this. I think I put the camera in my kids’ faces a little too much. I will print this and put it in my office; also as a reminder to get away from the computer.
Michele on 06.25.09
Absolutely worth saying again. Thank you so much, Skye, for this important reminder.
Teri Lee on 06.26.09
Skye, great post and I too want to print it out as a reminder for myself.
beth feigner on 07.08.09
wow. i just read my heart in words. thank you for posting this:) your work is amazing, but i know you hear that often:) just stopped by to see what you had posted lately, as i have stepped away from the blog world for a bit….to try and find that “balance”. i leave now inspired. thank you!
bonnie on 09.18.09
I had to read this entry twice. The first time I cried because the words you used are my feelings exactly. The 2nd time I was grateful that you shared what you did ~ our sons could totally relate to one another {lol}! Thanks so much!
The photographers child « Edmonton Wedding Photographer Blog on 07.28.10
[...] THIS is exactly how im feeling today. I always want my son to know that I see him & I adore him [...]
tazia detweiler on 12.16.11
LOVED this post. (and of course your pictures too- they are amazing)